porkmagazine:

WHO KNOWS WHAT KIND OF DANGER LURKS AROUND THE CORNER? THE ALLEY CAT GOUGER IS READY TO ATTACK! MADE OF INDESTRUCTIBLE POLY-RESIN WITH TERRIFYING ALLEY CAT VISAGE, WHEN YOU WIELD THE ALLEY CAT GOUGER, ITS 1” EARS BECOME DEADLY SPIKES READY TO JAB INTO THE SOFT SPOTS OF YOUR ENEMY. DOUBLES AS A NON-THREATENING KEYCHAIN TO BE YOUR CONSTANT COMPANION. IN PINK & NOW BACK IN BLACK!!! AT THE PORK SHOP!!!

porkmagazine:

WHO KNOWS WHAT KIND OF DANGER LURKS AROUND THE CORNER? THE ALLEY CAT GOUGER IS READY TO ATTACK! MADE OF INDESTRUCTIBLE POLY-RESIN WITH TERRIFYING ALLEY CAT VISAGE, WHEN YOU WIELD THE ALLEY CAT GOUGER, ITS 1” EARS BECOME DEADLY SPIKES READY TO JAB INTO THE SOFT SPOTS OF YOUR ENEMY. DOUBLES AS A NON-THREATENING KEYCHAIN TO BE YOUR CONSTANT COMPANION. IN PINK & NOW BACK IN BLACK!!! AT THE PORK SHOP!!!

porkmagazine:

WE END UP IN THE MOLDY RUMPUS ROOM OF A COMPUTER PROGRAMMER IN IDAHO. THE WALLS HAVE RED & GOLD, NEO-CLASSICAL, FLOCKED WALL PAPER. THE RUG IS A THICK OSCAR THE GROUCH GREEN SHAG. A COMMODORE 64 IS PLUGGED INTO A CRAPPY TV IN THE CORNER, WIZARDS OF WOR IS ON THE SCREEN. WE DUMP THE CONTENTS OF OUR BAGS. JEWEL-LIKE POLYHEDRON DICE, AN ALTOIDS TIN WITH A PIPE & SOME WEED. SOME BATTERED OLD BOOKS WITH PICTURES OF MONSTERS & MAZES ON THEM. A HALF-EATEN PACK OF RED-VINES. SOME CRUSTY PENCILS. A COUPLE BINDERS FILLED WITH GRAPH PAPER & DRAWINGS OF BARBARIANS & WIZARDS. WE LIGHT UP & PREPARE TO ENTER ANOTHER WORLD. AT THE PORK SHOP.

porkmagazine:

WE END UP IN THE MOLDY RUMPUS ROOM OF A COMPUTER PROGRAMMER IN IDAHO. THE WALLS HAVE RED & GOLD, NEO-CLASSICAL, FLOCKED WALL PAPER. THE RUG IS A THICK OSCAR THE GROUCH GREEN SHAG. A COMMODORE 64 IS PLUGGED INTO A CRAPPY TV IN THE CORNER, WIZARDS OF WOR IS ON THE SCREEN. WE DUMP THE CONTENTS OF OUR BAGS. JEWEL-LIKE POLYHEDRON DICE, AN ALTOIDS TIN WITH A PIPE & SOME WEED. SOME BATTERED OLD BOOKS WITH PICTURES OF MONSTERS & MAZES ON THEM. A HALF-EATEN PACK OF RED-VINES. SOME CRUSTY PENCILS. A COUPLE BINDERS FILLED WITH GRAPH PAPER & DRAWINGS OF BARBARIANS & WIZARDS. WE LIGHT UP & PREPARE TO ENTER ANOTHER WORLD. AT THE PORK SHOP.

porkmagazine:

I WAS COMING OUT OF THE STEAK & EGGS SPOT SOMEWHERE OFF THE JERSEY TURNPIKE. THREE IN THE MORNING ON THANKSGIVING. BEEN DRINKING ALL DAY BUT I COULDN’T GET DRUNK. WEIRD DUDE WITH HIS ARM IN THE CIGARETTE MACHINE LOOKS AT ME UP & DOWN SAYS, “DO YOU LIKE MONSTERS?” AT THE PORK SHOP!

porkmagazine:

I WAS COMING OUT OF THE STEAK & EGGS SPOT SOMEWHERE OFF THE JERSEY TURNPIKE. THREE IN THE MORNING ON THANKSGIVING. BEEN DRINKING ALL DAY BUT I COULDN’T GET DRUNK. WEIRD DUDE WITH HIS ARM IN THE CIGARETTE MACHINE LOOKS AT ME UP & DOWN SAYS, “DO YOU LIKE MONSTERS?” AT THE PORK SHOP!

porkmagazine:

I HAD MANY ALIEN ABDUCTION EXPERIENCES AS A CHILD. I WOULD WAKE UP, FROZEN WITH FEAR, UNABLE TO TALK OR MOVE BUT STRICKEN WITH AN ANIMALISTIC PANIC. THERE WOULD BE THINGS WATCHING ME FROM JUST OUTSIDE OF MY VISION, PROJECTING INTO MY MIND. WHEN THEY HAD GOTTEN ME THAT FAR, THEY WOULD BEGIN TO LEVITATE ME OUT OF THE HOUSE. LATER - I SAW A TRIANGULAR UFO BY THE BAY BRIDGE, IT WAS ENORMOUS & JUST FLOATING THERE. LATER - I SAW A SERIES OF FLASHING LIGHTS OVER THE SAN FRANCISCO HILLS HIGH IN THE CLOUDS THAT LASTED FOR OVER AN HOUR. THEY WERE COMMUNICATING. UFOS ARE REAL. AT THE PORK SHOP.

porkmagazine:

I HAD MANY ALIEN ABDUCTION EXPERIENCES AS A CHILD. I WOULD WAKE UP, FROZEN WITH FEAR, UNABLE TO TALK OR MOVE BUT STRICKEN WITH AN ANIMALISTIC PANIC. THERE WOULD BE THINGS WATCHING ME FROM JUST OUTSIDE OF MY VISION, PROJECTING INTO MY MIND. WHEN THEY HAD GOTTEN ME THAT FAR, THEY WOULD BEGIN TO LEVITATE ME OUT OF THE HOUSE. LATER - I SAW A TRIANGULAR UFO BY THE BAY BRIDGE, IT WAS ENORMOUS & JUST FLOATING THERE. LATER - I SAW A SERIES OF FLASHING LIGHTS OVER THE SAN FRANCISCO HILLS HIGH IN THE CLOUDS THAT LASTED FOR OVER AN HOUR. THEY WERE COMMUNICATING. UFOS ARE REAL. AT THE PORK SHOP.

porkmagazine:

HOT DOGS ARE AS AMERICAN AS CIGARETTE BUTTS, CHEWED BUBBLEGUM & USED CONDOMS. YOU TAKE THE LEFTOVER PIECES OF MEAT THAT PEOPLE DON’T REALLY WANT, THEY’RE NOT THAT BAD, BUT PEOPLE DON’T GO INTO THE BUTCHER SHOP & ASK FOR THESE ASSHOLES. YOU GRIND THEM UP UNTIL THEY’RE A UNIFORM MASS, YOU ADD A BUNCH OF GREAT FLAVOR, SALT THEM UP, STUFF THEM INTO THEIR OWN GUTS & THEN SMOKE ‘EM UNTIL THEY’RE JUST RIGHT. WHO KNOWS & WHO CARES ABOUT THEIR PEDIGREE, THEY’RE AMERICANS NOW, WE’RE NOT THE BEST, WE’RE THE WURST. AT THE PORK SHOP.

porkmagazine:

HOT DOGS ARE AS AMERICAN AS CIGARETTE BUTTS, CHEWED BUBBLEGUM & USED CONDOMS. YOU TAKE THE LEFTOVER PIECES OF MEAT THAT PEOPLE DON’T REALLY WANT, THEY’RE NOT THAT BAD, BUT PEOPLE DON’T GO INTO THE BUTCHER SHOP & ASK FOR THESE ASSHOLES. YOU GRIND THEM UP UNTIL THEY’RE A UNIFORM MASS, YOU ADD A BUNCH OF GREAT FLAVOR, SALT THEM UP, STUFF THEM INTO THEIR OWN GUTS & THEN SMOKE ‘EM UNTIL THEY’RE JUST RIGHT. WHO KNOWS & WHO CARES ABOUT THEIR PEDIGREE, THEY’RE AMERICANS NOW, WE’RE NOT THE BEST, WE’RE THE WURST. AT THE PORK SHOP.

DOOBIE BROTHERS - JESUS IS JUST ALRIGHT

apocalypsedudes:

DEATH CULTS

Our new division: Head Games! Fall launch!

Our new division: Head Games! Fall launch!

POISON - I WANT ACTION
EVERY BAND SHOULD BE TAKIN’ NOTES.

porkmagazine:

WE END UP IN THE MOLDY RUMPUS ROOM OF A COMPUTER PROGRAMMER IN IDAHO. THE WALLS HAVE RED & GOLD, NEO-CLASSICAL, FLOCKED WALL PAPER. THE RUG IS A THICK OSCAR THE GROUCH GREEN SHAG. A COMMODORE 64 IS PLUGGED INTO A CRAPPY TV IN THE CORNER, WIZARDS OF WOR IS ON THE SCREEN. WE DUMP THE CONTENTS OF OUR BAGS. JEWEL-LIKE POLYHEDRON DICE, AN ALTOIDS TIN WITH A PIPE & SOME WEED. SOME BATTERED OLD BOOKS WITH PICTURES OF MONSTERS & MAZES ON THEM. A HALF-EATEN PACK OF RED-VINES. SOME CRUSTY PENCILS. A COUPLE BINDERS FILLED WITH GRAPH PAPER & DRAWINGS OF BARBARIANS & WIZARDS. WE LIGHT UP & PREPARE TO ENTER ANOTHER WORLD. AT THE PORK SHOP.

porkmagazine:

WE END UP IN THE MOLDY RUMPUS ROOM OF A COMPUTER PROGRAMMER IN IDAHO. THE WALLS HAVE RED & GOLD, NEO-CLASSICAL, FLOCKED WALL PAPER. THE RUG IS A THICK OSCAR THE GROUCH GREEN SHAG. A COMMODORE 64 IS PLUGGED INTO A CRAPPY TV IN THE CORNER, WIZARDS OF WOR IS ON THE SCREEN. WE DUMP THE CONTENTS OF OUR BAGS. JEWEL-LIKE POLYHEDRON DICE, AN ALTOIDS TIN WITH A PIPE & SOME WEED. SOME BATTERED OLD BOOKS WITH PICTURES OF MONSTERS & MAZES ON THEM. A HALF-EATEN PACK OF RED-VINES. SOME CRUSTY PENCILS. A COUPLE BINDERS FILLED WITH GRAPH PAPER & DRAWINGS OF BARBARIANS & WIZARDS. WE LIGHT UP & PREPARE TO ENTER ANOTHER WORLD. AT THE PORK SHOP.

porkmagazine:

I WAS COMING OUT OF THE STEAK & EGGS SPOT SOMEWHERE OFF THE JERSEY TURNPIKE. THREE IN THE MORNING ON THANKSGIVING. BEEN DRINKING ALL DAY BUT I COULDN’T GET DRUNK. WEIRD DUDE WITH HIS ARM IN THE CIGARETTE MACHINE LOOKS AT ME UP & DOWN SAYS, “DO YOU LIKE MONSTERS?” AT THE PORK SHOP!

porkmagazine:

I WAS COMING OUT OF THE STEAK & EGGS SPOT SOMEWHERE OFF THE JERSEY TURNPIKE. THREE IN THE MORNING ON THANKSGIVING. BEEN DRINKING ALL DAY BUT I COULDN’T GET DRUNK. WEIRD DUDE WITH HIS ARM IN THE CIGARETTE MACHINE LOOKS AT ME UP & DOWN SAYS, “DO YOU LIKE MONSTERS?” AT THE PORK SHOP!

porkmagazine:

HOT DOGS ARE AS AMERICAN AS CIGARETTE BUTTS, CHEWED BUBBLEGUM & USED CONDOMS. YOU TAKE THE LEFTOVER PIECES OF MEAT THAT PEOPLE DON’T REALLY WANT, THEY’RE NOT THAT BAD, BUT PEOPLE DON’T GO INTO THE BUTCHER SHOP & ASK FOR THESE ASSHOLES. YOU GRIND THEM UP UNTIL THEY’RE A UNIFORM MASS, YOU ADD A BUNCH OF GREAT FLAVOR, SALT THEM UP, STUFF THEM INTO THEIR OWN GUTS & THEN SMOKE ‘EM UNTIL THEY’RE JUST RIGHT. WHO KNOWS & WHO CARES ABOUT THEIR PEDIGREE, THEY’RE AMERICANS NOW, WE’RE NOT THE BEST, WE’RE THE WURST. AT THE PORK SHOP.

porkmagazine:

HOT DOGS ARE AS AMERICAN AS CIGARETTE BUTTS, CHEWED BUBBLEGUM & USED CONDOMS. YOU TAKE THE LEFTOVER PIECES OF MEAT THAT PEOPLE DON’T REALLY WANT, THEY’RE NOT THAT BAD, BUT PEOPLE DON’T GO INTO THE BUTCHER SHOP & ASK FOR THESE ASSHOLES. YOU GRIND THEM UP UNTIL THEY’RE A UNIFORM MASS, YOU ADD A BUNCH OF GREAT FLAVOR, SALT THEM UP, STUFF THEM INTO THEIR OWN GUTS & THEN SMOKE ‘EM UNTIL THEY’RE JUST RIGHT. WHO KNOWS & WHO CARES ABOUT THEIR PEDIGREE, THEY’RE AMERICANS NOW, WE’RE NOT THE BEST, WE’RE THE WURST. AT THE PORK SHOP.

porkmagazine:

I HAD MANY ALIEN ABDUCTION EXPERIENCES AS A CHILD. I WOULD WAKE UP, FROZEN WITH FEAR, UNABLE TO TALK OR MOVE BUT STRICKEN WITH AN ANIMALISTIC PANIC. THERE WOULD BE THINGS WATCHING ME FROM JUST OUTSIDE OF MY VISION, PROJECTING INTO MY MIND. WHEN THEY HAD GOTTEN ME THAT FAR, THEY WOULD BEGIN TO LEVITATE ME OUT OF THE HOUSE. LATER - I SAW A TRIANGULAR UFO BY THE BAY BRIDGE, IT WAS ENORMOUS & JUST FLOATING THERE. LATER - I SAW A SERIES OF FLASHING LIGHTS OVER THE SAN FRANCISCO HILLS HIGH IN THE CLOUDS THAT LASTED FOR OVER AN HOUR. THEY WERE COMMUNICATING. UFOS ARE REAL. AT THE PORK SHOP.

porkmagazine:

I HAD MANY ALIEN ABDUCTION EXPERIENCES AS A CHILD. I WOULD WAKE UP, FROZEN WITH FEAR, UNABLE TO TALK OR MOVE BUT STRICKEN WITH AN ANIMALISTIC PANIC. THERE WOULD BE THINGS WATCHING ME FROM JUST OUTSIDE OF MY VISION, PROJECTING INTO MY MIND. WHEN THEY HAD GOTTEN ME THAT FAR, THEY WOULD BEGIN TO LEVITATE ME OUT OF THE HOUSE. LATER - I SAW A TRIANGULAR UFO BY THE BAY BRIDGE, IT WAS ENORMOUS & JUST FLOATING THERE. LATER - I SAW A SERIES OF FLASHING LIGHTS OVER THE SAN FRANCISCO HILLS HIGH IN THE CLOUDS THAT LASTED FOR OVER AN HOUR. THEY WERE COMMUNICATING. UFOS ARE REAL. AT THE PORK SHOP.